“It takes two to do the trust tango- the one who risks (the trustor) and the one who is trustworthy (the trustee); each must play their role." ~Charles H. Green
Dear Caedmon Community,
This morning, guest speaker Dr. Francyne Zeltser, from the Manhattan Psychology Group, facilitated an excellent presentation for our parents. It was titled Best Parenting Practices for Raising Resilient and Confident Children in the Pandemic Era. The parents who attended shared such vulnerability in their concerns for their children and for themselves, especially in light of the continuing challenges that we have to face. Parents spoke of everything from the very limited socializing that our children have experienced, having very young children who only know about faces with masks at this point in their lives or children who suddenly had to adjust to lives with masks all the time, to adults working from home, caring for their children and maintaining their careers, and not to mention living with the worry every moment that they and their children might get sick, and if so, how sick? What if the parent gets sick?
I was able to attend a bit, and by all accounts, Dr. Zeltser's presentation and conversation offered wise insight into parenting, the pandemic, and our children. We discussed the phenomenon of living with constant fear, of isolation, and of losing the idea of "normal."
After I left her talk, several significant thoughts resonated with me throughout the day. What have we come to face, as parents, as educators, and as human beings, today, in May, 2022? First of all, we are living in a worldwide pandemic. And, we are still very much in it. People have not faced a pandemic for over a hundred years (and hopefully won't for another century). Living under the shadow of a worldwide, uncertain health crisis has taken its toll.
Prior to March, 2020, I certainly had come to expect, even with some of the greatest challenges in life, that there was always a "solution" to a problem; that situations, issues and conflicts could be "fixed;" that with the right actions or words the situations would resolve and go away; that while things could go awry, for the most part I was in control. The "wisdom" that I want to take from the past two-and-a-half years is that life always was and will remain unpredictable. I am not in control. But I have also experienced incredible innovation and flexibility, in thought and action. The way the Caedmon community pulled together as a team, stayed calm and patient, and made things work, was inspiring.
I mentioned this morning that I no longer use the term "back to normal." Too much has changed in the last several years. I am not really even sure what normal is or was. I do believe, however, that holding on to an idea of the past, as something to which we must return, is not a helpful or healthy goal. I have come to accept that normal means things will change, and that I can't necessarily predict what is coming. But, I don't have to! If I hold on to that idea, I feel much calmer.
Finally, we spoke this morning of fear and trust. I feel great empathy for the fear I find amongst our parents; especially our youngest parents, whose children only know of life in a pandemic. The experience of a very young child, simply put, is vastly different from their parents and their older siblings and of their teachers. The question, "might this affect my child's connection to others in a negative way?," seems very valid. And yet, again, the good news is that there is a silver lining to this concern as well. Human beings are born to socialize and connect. While our youngests' introduction to social skills may be different or unfamiliar to us, they will find a way and it will be an effective one. Better yet, you have chosen a school whose philosophy is driven by Maria Montessori. The essence of her learning is rooted in the connection that children make with themselves, with their peers, and with their teachers.
But, herein lies what I find to be one of the greatest risks of the pandemic. When we are afraid, unsure, or reluctant, the first thing we lose is the ability to trust. And in order to grow, in order to give over something as precious as one's child, a parent must trust. Trust the school, trust the process, and trust that things will work out for the best.
I promise you that I trust in the order of optimism and good. What else can any one of us put our beliefs in? We have been given the gift and responsibility of providing young children the very start of their lives. That is the greatest gift. Just look at their bright and shining eyes. I don't know about you, but I am filled with immense hope when I spend even a moment with a Caedmon student, and I am very grateful for that magic.
Best,
Matthew
